I fell in love with this game in the middle of the tutorial. A little text box instructed me to tell one of my line backers to commit a foul. A right click brought a human player football player to run up to an unconscious rat man and kick him ...

Okay, I have a killer case of pinkeye in my right eye... feels like it's about to squeeze out... so I'm going to keep these super brief. Links are in the title. Cash Cow's Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (PS3 | 360 | PC) I had this five days early. Did I review ...

Turning on the Dreamcast is a magical journey back to a simpler time. To be precise, it's November 27, 1998, because the fucking internal clock is just as miserable a sack of crap as the Xbox's. I hate turning the thing on because looking at that time setup screen reminds ...

Happy Aquarium is an aquarium for face book which can be loaded up with fish, but is it really happy? There are four meters for this game: cleanliness, experience, money and hunger. Cleanliness is easy to fill. The fish tank gets dirty over time, click on the brush icon, click ...

I spent a week playing Mafia Wars, unfortunate, I know.  I had also planned on trying a few other games, like Mobsters 2 and Pirates: Rule the Caribbean, but they are basically the same game. Each one has a system where energy is accrued over time, and then spent on ...

Dear Sony, I was excited when I got my shipment of Gran Turismo for the PSP, one week late. I had been reviewing the somewhat stinky Kingdom Hearts for the DS, and tossed the system with such force that it legally destroyed my dog. This was no fey Totilo toss; that ...

The calls asking if we have sports games at the shop tend to start three weeks before they're released and stop two days before they're released. The best part? Not carrying them so we don't lose buckets of money. People are DESPERATE to play pretend football, especially, and the only way ...

I don't like strategy games. In a recent post, I stated that I owned Battletech as a youth. Like many people I owned it, but never got around to playing it. Oh yes, I read the entire rulebook, set up a board, even found somebody insane enough to try and ...

John Carmack, id's head retiree, has lost his fucking marbles. Not in his typical, probably from outer space way. No, he's joined the short yet growing line of former game developers-turned-professional character assassins in service of Microsoft. This time it's steadily declining claims of what the PS3's processor is capable ...

Wondering if you should pick up the freshly-minted Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game on XBLA? In the spirit of the amount of energy used to bring you this game, we're copying stuff said in IRC to bring you the most comprehensive review a gestalt entity can. "IGN gave the game 5.9, ...