While I haven’t spent enough time with the latest in the sandbox samurai series, I know it’s not gripping me as much as the first game did. It’s more confusing to navigate and doesn’t really offer up much more than the original. What I do know is this:

Developers, you are not as funny as you think. And this goes for those of you across the sea as well, I’m not indulging in the same “Japan is better for gaming” bullshit that most journalists like to take. If you put in a joke quest where I have to retrieve some old lady’s underwear, it better not be completely fucking impossible to find. It just amplifies the suckage your game is pouring directly into my eyeballs like fresh goddamn coffee.

Of course, Google is loaning out the usual insipid hilarity that comes with any trip into our cyberspace prototype. I can’t find a walkthrough that tells where the stupid underwear is, and one preview article with the hee-larious tagline “Where’d that old lady put her underwear? No seriously, it’s for a quest.” has been subjected to the typical ctrl-c, ctrl-v reporting that the internet professionals are known for. In other words, this article that describes finding underwear in a building (which is completely unhelpful) repeats 30 times in a brilliant repeat of the quest itself before we get to the usual light porn and flaming stupid forum chatter.

Here are the highlights:

Tomb Raider: Underwear
Boxer briefs go bushido with Samurai Underwear: each design is named after famous…
Narwhal has a couple of jokes about underwear and bodily functions
used heroin needles, used hookers, used underwear, used parachutes, used soap
…. with a white shipmate suit and blue underwear (I know her underwear is blue because you …

I still haven’t found the thing. This quest is dragging this game down to bullshit levels.