I don’t like strategy games. In a recent post, I stated that I owned Battletech as a youth. Like many people I owned it, but never got around to playing it. Oh yes, I read the entire rulebook, set up a board, even found somebody insane enough to try and nurture that same kind of patient, thoughtful genetic that lets us get into these at an early age. The problem is that Mike would invariably happen along as I was making sure everything was set up right, put me in a sleeper hold, and start yelling in my ear. “YOU WANT TO PLAY NERD GAMES!?” he’d yell, spittle hitting my hair. “HOW’S THIS FOR REALISTIC TORSO TWISTING RULES? Hold on a second…”

He did something I couldn’t see. There was a loud crack and I didn’t feel any physical sensation for about four days. Thanks to my father’s Irish sense of health care (if the skin’s not broken, it’s not worth the hospital bill) I didn’t know exactly what for about a decade and some change.

So my love for the “strategy RPG” or “tactical RPG” or “real time combat” game that is Valkyria Chronicles on the PS3 is pretty notable. Despite the general lack of agreement on what compound genre it is or, in the case of “real time combat” Sega’s misunderstanding about their own product, it’s a solid game that takes the concept of fun, kneads it into a beachball, and pops it right over the net at you.

First off, let’s stare at a screenshot intently:

Okay, I’m not a big, syphilitic anime dorkus, but this screen brings me joy for associated reasons. Sure, the cross-shading is nice, but if I compliment it then I have to say nice things -albeit how indirect- about Afro Samurai. But let me show you where the most awesome part of this screenshot is:

See that? It’s color. Holy crap, it’s so much color! Even the outside edge, rendered in monochrome, is a nice artistic touch. The only real loser here is the IGN logo, denoting their grey little souls.

For a fantasy alternate World War II game, Valkyria Chronicles manages to use the full spectrum of color in most every scene and still retain a reasonably authentic “war is hell” feeling. Compare that to this screenshot I took of Wolfenstein that didn’t make the cut for our previous review:

It doesn’t hurt that this is all attached to a super-fun game. Give it a couple of missions to draw you in, and welcome yourself to your new addiction. Valkyria seems a bit trifling from the demo and the first couple of missions, but it’ll soon start upping the ante until you think it can’t push you any further. And then it does. And you think NOW you’ve passed through the gauntlet. And then it tosses you another screwball. And it does this at least five more times until you’ve hit the end of the game. You’ll have to keep learning and adapt your strategies to some insane situations.

It’s all played out in a tactical shooter that’s about as real-time as an iceburg, despite the term “real time” being on the back of the box twice. Yes, there are some elements that demand your immediate attention; during your movement phase, being in range of any enemy units will result in real-time suppressing fire that keeps you from rushing past footsoldiers. Fail to kill an enemy at the end of your move? Most units get a reflex shot. Think carefully, and think fast.

Half the battle is spent planning your moves on an overhead map, and specific attacks pause to allow your character to attack. This is not real time, but if it were this would be another damn shooter with a very confusing interface. The mish-mash is unfamiliar, and seems a bit absurd at first, but it’s incredibly rewarding to figure out.

Successful battles reward you in experience points and money, which allows you to enhance your character in several ways. Experience points can be used to level up your different soldier classes -every soldier in the respective class levels up- and money can be spent on tank upgrades and even side missions.

All this is wrapped up in a rather unconventional war plot with large doses of fantasy, the appropriate levels of drama, and even a few really big plot twists. A lot of predictable ones, yes, but also some surprising reversals of expectation here and there. The story compliments the gameplay extremely well.

I’m not the only one who likes the game, according to how easy it is to accidentally find Selvara porn when Google’s SafeSearch is off.

I can’t gripe much. Reflex shots seem kind of gimpy at first, until you realize they keep people from exploiting the game engine. My only other complaint was how the game gives you a better rating, and thus more money and experience, for completing the mission in the fewest turns. Doesn’t really promote the best strategy. Then again, completing a map with skill and speed is a good barometer for a successful player, and also Mike glares at me whenever I criticize something he likes, even if it deserves it.

With all this and even a couple of extra treats for a second playthrough, including carrying over your experience and upgrades, there’s little reason not to own this game. Download the demo, play it a few times, and see for yourself.