Joystiq released the above hi-res screenshot from the depths of their
jpg bin of frightening erotica to produce a story that trumps even Kotaku’s amazing and exclusive reportings on Cliffy B’s insane opinions of game controllers; the 360 is going red.

While it looks like it’s merely been placed under a shitty heat lamp, this is the first in Microsoft’s attempts at a mid-life crisis for the 360, necessitating the user place black electrical tape around the power button to tell when their system inevitably shits out and dies a horrible fucking death that they all do, or at least keep it in less than optimal lighting conditions. Unfortunately, not all of us live in the spank booth of a porn shop or own light dimmers, so we’ll just have to keep playing our Dreamcasts and PS2s like the game-finishing barbarians that we are.

Further Microsoft innovations in this line of products are expected to include a helmet that unleashes blinders if your unit bricks so that you don’t have to see it happening, and a list of motivational phrases taken from a self-help book when you realize the only taunts you have left against PS3 owners include pointing out their system uses a lot of power and that their system occasionally breaks when tossed from a catapult.