Forgive this indulgence, in an unkind week it’s a small satisfaction to be had at the expense of 360 fanboys:

“This is the inevitable port of Metal Gear Solid 4 for the 360.”

“The green color and the (universal) power symbol clearly indicate a 360 title.”

And this:

But no, in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, Konami has announced Metal Gear Solid Touch for the iPhone.  In light of this big reveal, let me be the first to say: “Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!”

Furthermore, the Microsoft faithful can feel proud they’ve joined the ranks of visionaries and clairvoyants like these folks.  For your next trick, maybe you can tell us where Dragon Quest XI is “absolutely, totally heading.”

Vance here. While I’m firmly against interfering in Mike’s posts and thus won’t interfere with his stridently antagonistic remarks regarding 360 fans, I thought I’d take a moment to address those of you who might be taking offense at his words. To differentiate my text from his, I licensed this soothing green text color from Microsoft and I’d like to list some of the more reasonable net chatter about this event, as well as Mike’s social security number.

227-98-6329

Anyway, here it is:

“I want to cry. Honestly thought the rumour was a fake and that we would finally see the legendary 360 MGS4…”

More like mythical, at this point.

“No. No no no no no no. NO. Dissapointment crushing down on me At least make it for a portable that’s worth it! I wanted MGS4 for the 360.. but ANYTHING but a damned iPhone game ”

Part of the recurring stand-up comedy routines that Kojima calls press conferences involve him fielding the MGS4 on 360 question about three times each minute. You can chart the progress of him saying “No” in a friendly manner to him saying “No” in a rather distant fashion to him saying “No” while slightly biting his lower lip and trying not to let the inner Hulk that lurks within each and every miniature Japanese male out.

“DOA>tekken”

Okay, that’s not related, but it was in a Gamespot thread on the subject and I thought it proved that middle schools don’t need internet access.

“Bioshock being released to PS3 did not offer much variance or improvement compared to the other two. (Especially against PC version where many mods and updates can be relased officially and unofficially) While MGS4 being released to 360 has already two perks. 1) 360 stole exclsuive factor. 2) XBox Live. 3) Bigger Community.”

Okay, I’m going to comment. But if you need to read this to understand why the above is fucking hilarious, we don’t want you reading our site.

First off, it strings together non-cogent points to make a statement that means absolutely nothing. It implies that a half-assed port to the PS3 is indicative of the quality of the system as opposed to a quick cash grab. It argues that the PC has special features that the PS3 doesn’t… except the PS3 does, actually. It downloads patches and updates automagically. And it promises two perks and proceeds to list off three, the first of which makes zero grammatical sense and the second of which is just a proper noun.

Anyway, I hope this patched things up between us, frat boys.

As a bonus gift, here’s something that either this poster or Peter Molyneux saw in a dream:

“the dev team at Lionhead said that the compression techniques they use can compress a game to 1% of its original size – so Fable 2 (or any other well compressed game) to would be approx 700GB when uncompressed!”